It’s been cold and wet here in the heartland. Actually, I kinda like that. When it’s gloomy outside, it gives us a chance to just relax and maybe have a low key, sleepy day. And seeing that it’s the end of the week, well, it comes at the right time for me. Problem is, my iPod is dead and I don’t have a charger at work. CDs are SO last decade, but I’ll have to slum it today. Never mind. Here’s hoping I’ll get my desk cleared off today.

iPod out of juice
a day to kick back and chill
I like rainy days

You remember the rules, right? 5-7-5 syllables of silly bull. What’s yours?

I got myself into a little bit of trouble at work today.

People that know the real me know that I have a sense of the bizarre and find humor in some of the most unusual of places. I absolutely love irony which, unfortunately, not a lot of people get. The fact that this is so just makes it that much funnier. I also love silliness in all its forms. I swear, if you cracked open my head a twelve year old would jump out and make fart noises or something less mature.

What I got into trouble with was not ironic, just a downright slapstick practical joke. You all know how the cartoon character “Bart Simpson” will prank call into Moe’s Tavern? Well, I sort of called to the front office and asked them to page a patient to return to the laboratory. When asked for the name, I stated that the patient’s last name was “Jache”, first name, “Hugh”.

Now, the front desk lady is really, really sweet, but isn’t exactly what you would call bright. I think if she were one of the Crayola 64, she’d probably be beige. Sure enough, she didn’t put the joke together and within a moment of making my request, I hear over the intercom, “Your attention please. Would a Huge Ass please report to the laboratory? Hugh Ass, report to the laboratory please.”

I didn’t think she would actually do it, but needless to say, I was a bit uncomfortable sitting in the hospital administrator’s office about 15 minutes later apologizing for the joke. Apparently, my administrator didn’t quite see the humor either. I bet this goes on my permanent record.

Oktoberfest in Hermann has reduced our town into one big motorway. All I hear, all day long, are cars, trucks, and camper vans up and down the road. It’s enough to drive one absolutely bat shit crazy. Vilkomen!

Mom sent a care package all the way from Circleville, Ohio (the pumpkin capitol of the world. THE WORLD!) What’s in the package you ask? I’m please that you did. None other than pumpkin doughnuts from the annual Circleville Pumpkin Show. It’s not a “festival” it’s a “show” and has been going on for as long as I can remember. It’s an institution of sorts and filled with pumpkin frivolity. Who says us small town folk don’t know how to party down?

Speaking of small towns; you know you live in a small town when an overnight package addressed to your home is hand delivered by the post office to your place of business. “Well,” the mail carrier stated, “it looked important, so I thought I should bring it to you here.” I love that!

Apparently, we have “special” spoons used for stirring our tea that differ from the spoons used to stir our coffee. This is not my rule. This is Mark’s rule and I actually got a lecture on the difference today. However, I disagree. I think all spoons are special in the eyes of the heavenly big spoon and we shouldn’t judge. All spoons have value.

The air is crisp and damp. Summer is carefully packed away in the shed. The wood pile is sorted and stacked. My woods are colored with deep hues of scarlet and gold. And other than the Hermann version of the Indianapolis speedway out on the highway, right now at least, life isn’t so bad. I hope you all have a brilliant week ahead.

Then a woman said, “Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.” And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

I’ve been busier than a one armed wallpaper hanger. Busy is good, because it keeps me from brooding too much, but really! Uncle already! Still, I find that right now, I just don’t have too much to say. You know what they say, if you don’t have anything to say, then keep still. So here is my haiku for this week:

Long time, no posting
Nothing of value to say
So, I’ll just shut up

You remember the rules, right? 5-7-5 syllables of silly bull. What’s yours?

On the way out the door this morning, Mark stopped me to say that an ambulance had been dispatched to the house of a former co-worker. Although I was sad to see her go, she left the lab on good terms to spend more time with her husband about two years ago. It was their dream to open a little shop in town and from what I gather, business for them has been booming. I said a little prayer,left realizing that I would probably see my friend later that morning, and made my way to work in the driving rain.

I knew her husband had a heart condition and figured that he was having some angina or something. I arrived before the ambulance, which isn’t as unusual as you might think. Often it is the role of the first responders, the EMTs, to stabilize the patient for transfer. Sometimes, I think they spend a bit too much time at this, but I’m not at the scene so I can’t really criticize. They arrived at the hospital about a half hour after I did. I’ll admit that if it weren’t my friend, I would have gone off to my office to start the day and left the others to take care of the labwork. As it was, I did know this fellow, once worked with his wife, and well, I just wanted to be there to help move things along a little bit.

One half hour passed.

Forty-five minutes passed.

One hour passed.

This didn’t look good. What you have to understand is that the very first thing we do when someone presents to the ER with any sort of chest pain is an EKG to assess if the patient is in the midst of a heart attack. The second thing we do is take blood samples and determine from the cardiac enzymes present how severe the attack is and how long it’s been going on.

I learned that my friend’s husband was dead on arrival. She never got a chance to say good bye. I went to sit with her for a while. Obviously, she was grieving. I don’t think the shock of it had quite settled in. She stated that while she was checking e-mail, her husband sat down to the kitchen table to check his blood pressure and simply laid his head down on the table without saying a word. It was just that quick.

It sounds selfish, I know, but I can’t help but feel that someday I might be in that very same position and it frightens me. Mark too, has a history of cardiac trouble. I try not to think about it too much. I try not to, but I’m not always successful with that.

See here’s the thing. We all know that life is short and tentative at best. We also know that life is all about lessons and those lessons have everything to do with how we perfect ourselves and how we deal with one another. It’s all about learning to get along, support, and love each other without condition. So if we know all of these things, then why do we continue to get upset over small, insignificant problems and play bull shit games with each other? I think we can do better.

That’s not to say that we should talk all “new age”,pour pink paint over everything, and pretend that there aren’t issues and problems. That doesn’t solve anything. But why can’t we just be real with each other? Why are we so friggin’ afraid of being genuine? Why are we afraid to let others see our vulnerabilities and our weakness? Why? Because we might be judged too harshly or get hurt. I know we can do better. Real communication and open honest expression of who we are and where we are at the momment, coming from a place of love and respect is what we all need. It’s what we crave, if you think about it.

Maybe someday we can achieve just a small part of that. I hope so. We just don’t have that much time, do we?

If someone pisses you off, then tell them so, but do it with love and respect and get past it. If someone hurts your feelings, then let them know, but do it without laying a guilt trip on them so that you can get over it. Think twice before throwing concern for someone else out the door. Nobody is disposable. And why not take just a moment or two tonight and remind those whom you love that you do.