Stuffy head — check (it's like a snot factory)
Headache — check (oww)
Body aches — check (OWWW)
Sore throat — check (feels like I swallowed a brillo pad)
Worn out — check (weekend in bed, and not in a good way)

I'm pretty sure God smote me.  Who gets a cold in July?!?

Oh kind and merciful God.  As you fed your people manna from Heaven, I beseech you to please send me some holy Nyquil.  And maybe a shot of whiskey?  

The evening draws to an end.  Orange, lavender, pink, and baby blue sky shrouded in a mantle of mist give way to the indigo star studded night.  Cicadas once again sing their familiar symphony and fireflies send beacons of sexual invitation outside my window. 

My room is a mess. 

Stacks of unread books get yet another empty promise of “someday”.  Stacks of paper that scream to be attended to.  A big ball of woolen yarn that will someday become a hat, or scarf, or something, when I just get around to working the crochet hook.  The air conditioner hums and irritates.  Another beer – sure.  Why not?  Another smoke.  I shouldn’t, I know.  A heap of clothes that need to be laundered.  Tomorrow.  I promise.     

Alright then, 100 push ups to make up for it.  Tomorrow.  I promise. 

Purgatory.

Still feeling betrayed.  Still trying to understand.  Still worrying.  Still loving.

Sometimes, we really have no idea how much harm and damage we can do. 

Forgiveness.  That’s a big word.  I’ve been big enough to give that gift before. 

But only when asked. 

I haven’t been asked, but I give that gift anyway.  Possibly for my own good.    

Recently read on Joe.My.God.  (scroll down to "Apology Revoked") 

This can’t be right.  It just can’t be.  I emailed with Nicky.  I IM’d with Nicky.  I communicated with the fellow (Larry) he was cyber-dating.  I communicated with his internet friends.  Nicky once wrote me a very heartwarming email in response to a blog post I wrote about discovering that a blogger friend of mine was misrepresenting who he really was. 

I simply cannot believe how gullible and trusting I am.  I actually feel violated because I actually had grown very fond of Nicky.  I’m learning that the internets aren’t such a nice place after all.  It’s a tough lesson.

This weekend, Mark and I drove the 40 some minute trip to the nearby city of Washington.  Several times a year, my parents take a gambling trip somewhere, and once in a while they’ll be traveling somewhere in the vicinity of where we live, so we meet up for lunch.  It’s a nice way to keep in touch without wearing out each other’s welcome. 

Driving along route 100, I couldn’t help but notice how blue and cloudless the sky was.  Or how green the trees were. Or how empty the road was.  It was kind of spooky, but in a good way.  Now I don’t know about where you all live, but here in Central Missouri, driving is not only a form of transportation, but also a form of recreation.  Most weekends the roads are filled with SUV’s, campers, and motorbikes aimlessly taking in the sights of one farmer’s field after another.  Heck, we think nothing of driving 50 miles to get a taco. 

But not so yesterday.  Yesterday, there was a marked decrease in road traffic.  I figure it has to do with the “incredibly high” price of gas now-a-days.  Somebody really should do something about that!! 

I can’t help but chuckle when I hear people complain about the price of gas.  When we were across the pond some ten years ago, the price of petrol was the American equivalent of $6.00 per gallon.  I hear it’s somewhere around $11.00 in the UK now. 

Somebody really should do something about that!! 

Well, somebody did.  In the UK, and all over Europe, they rely heavily on public transportation and drive small, energy efficient cars.  Oh yeah, and they walk!  We could do the same in the US.  The answer, in my opinion, is not to give the go ahead for more offshore drilling or invade another country to steal their oil.  The answer is to invest in safe, reliable, clean, public transportation; not only in the larger cities, but in the more rural areas as well.  Amtrak, for example, is a great concept, but the problem is you can’t get anywhere on it and if you do, you’ll probably be late.  We have a station right here in our little town.  Mark and I tried a train trip to St. Louis a while back, but the problem was that the train was several hours late and we still couldn’t get to our destination without taking a taxi.  I’ll write more about THAT adventure later. 

We can all drive smaller, more efficient cars.  You all may know that I recently purchased a Toyota Yaris.  We took my car to Washington yesterday to really give it a work out.  I like it.  I feel safe and I think it looks kinda sporty.  Mom really liked the interior because it’s so cute yet roomy (her description) and daddy’s jaw about hit the floor when I told him that I got just over 400 miles on one tank of gasoline.  I could swear he gave me the stink-eye as they pulled out of the parking lot in their big ole SUV. 

We all know that Americans are the biggest polluters on the planet and that we consume to most.  We consume for the sake of consumption.  (By the way, did you all hear what our President said at the G8 Summit in Japan?  What a fucking embarrassment that man is.)  But I digress. 

The answer is that we, as a society, need to change our views on consuming.  We need to change our ideas of what to drive.  We don’t need to drive monster trucks and SUV’s.  “Oh ho”, I hear you say, “but I’ve got kids!” 

Let me tell you something.  Kids are small.  They fit nicely in the back of a small car.  And economy cars are safer than they were 10 years ago. 

“But I haul stuff” I can hear others say.  Great.  If you really use your vehicle for work, then by all means I’m not against that.  It’s just that I often see these big, pimped out monster trucks tearing up the road with an empty bed that doesn’t have a scratch on it.  I’m thinking it’s not so much of a utility vehicle but some kind of compensation for what you may think is lacking. 

We could consider making our living spaces friendlier for those who walk or ride bicycles.  There are busy streets in our town that don’t have sidewalks, just the road.  If you do choose to walk, you’re risking your well being.  How silly is that? 

So where am I going with this?  I’m not really sure except to say that we really need to think about the choices we make and we really need to rethink what we’re taking away from our planet. 

Somebody really should do something about that!!  I think I’ll go for a walk.    

The bug music is heralding the height of summer.  The cicadas are singing their ancient songs.  Their staccato.  The deafening sound of it all.  The glorious chorus.  The fireflies that punctuate the music in their glowing dance.  The beautiful symphony. Like a marching band it fills the evening.  Tonight there is no quiet.  Tonight, we will not sleep but sing and hum and buzz.  Tonight we will lift our instruments high and make a loud and beautiful noise until morning.  Tonight we will not be silent but celebrate the heat of summer.  A loud and beautiful voice.  For soon, we know that the summer will end, so tonight, we celebrate.  We celebrate the eclectic dance before the autumn frost brings it all to a close.  Tonight, we raise our bug music symphony to all the heavens for God to hear and be pleased.

Pretty damned nice, if you ask me.  How’d you spend your weekend??